The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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