I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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