hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
