..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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