I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it glows. i had to have it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
