It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
