i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
