I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
