It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
