I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
