i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
