Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
honey bunches of taint.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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