M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
