i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
