Buhtt sex?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we're making bets on your personal life
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
