Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
