it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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