I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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