She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's get the cat blown out
Terrible idea I love it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did you pee in the oven last night??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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