I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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