I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
a search helicopter?!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
