I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
