You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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