I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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