Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
