The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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