We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
