Christians are straight up FREAKS
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize