forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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