Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
