Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
