Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
