Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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