i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
