I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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