yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
