His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
