Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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