Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize