You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
