she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
