Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
