Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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