i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
