apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize