I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
