and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How external is "for external use only"?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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