She's JV to your varsity
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
