vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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