Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize