You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
