I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Randomize
