Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
