I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
