After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
