I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
