is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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