dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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