I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
