i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
