Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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