how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
my poor anus
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize