Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize