he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
