Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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