So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
