Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
