I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
