She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize