its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize